Sunday, June 23, 2019

Odds and ends

Running at 100 years
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/20/sports/julia-hawkins-running.html?utm_medium=sundayedition.ads.20190623.421.1&utm_source=email&utm_content=article&utm_campaign=10-for-today---4.0-styling



Banned classic novels

Cornea surgery


WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE!!
 

 
    A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
 woman may go to choose a husband.  Among the instructions at the entrance
 is a description of how the store operates:
 
                   WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE!!
 
           You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!  There are six
           floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
           shopper ascends the flights.  There is, however, a
                   catch... you may choose any man from a particular  floor,
 or you may choose to go up floor, but you cannot go back down except to
 exit the building!
           Happy Shopping!!!!
 
    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
    On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
 
           Floor 1:    These men have jobs and love the Lord.
 
    The second floor sign reads:
 
           Floor 2:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, and like  kids.
 
    The third floor sign reads:
 
           Floor 3:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids and are extremely good looking.
 
    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.  She goes  to the
 fourth floor and sign reads:
 
           Floor 4:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids, are drop-dead good looking and help
                            with the housework.
 
    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'  Still, she  goes
 to the fifth floor and sign reads:
 
           Floor 5:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the 
 housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
 
    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
 reads:
 
           Floor 6:    You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There  are
 no men on this floor. This floor exists
                   solely as proof that women are impossible to
                   please.  Thank you for shopping at the Husband
                   Store.  Watch your step as you exit the building,
                   and have a nice day!
 


Saturday, June 22, 2019

Odds and ends

Queen Victoria and a little girl

Wait some more

Kolaveri in Madrid - 

Alexander Fleming

His name was  Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make  a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog.  He dropped his tools 
and ran to the  bog. 
There, mired to  his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to  free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a  slow and terrifying death. 
  
The next day, a  fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An  elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the  father of the boy Farmer Fleming had  saved. 
  
'I want to repay  you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's  life.' 
  
'No, I can't  accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the  offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family  hovel. 
  
'Is that your  son?' the nobleman asked. 
  
'Yes,' the farmer  replied proudly. 
  
'I'll make you a  deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy  If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we  both will be proud of.' And that he  did. 
Farmer Fleming's  son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's  Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout  the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of  Penicillin. 
  
Years afterward,  the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with  pneumonia. 
What saved his  life this time? Penicillin. 
  
The name of the  nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill ... His son's  name? 
  
Sir Winston  Churchill. 
  
Someone once  said: What goes around comes  around. 
  
Work like you  don't need the money. 
  
Love like you've  never been hurt. 
  
Dance like  nobody's watching. 
  
Sing like  nobody's listening. 
  
Live like it's  Heaven on Earth. 
  
It's National  Friendship Week. Send this to 
  
everyone you  consider A FRIEND. 
  
Pass this on, and  brighten some one's day. 
  
AN IRISH  FRIENDSHIP WISH: You had better  send 
  
this back!! Good  Luck! 
  
I hope it  works... 
  
May there always  be work for your hands to do; 
  
May your purse  always hold a coin or two; 
  
May the sun  always shine on your windowpane; 
  
May a rainbow be  certain to follow each rain; 
  
May the hand of a  friend always be near you; 
  
May God fill your  heart with gladness to cheer you. 
and  may you be in heaven  a half hour before the devil knows your'e dead.