Dear Philip
& all my batchmates
You may have heard so many of these hilarious ‘sexist wise sayings’ over and over again.
This is supposed to be a ‘new version’. After
reading it, I just could not resist sharing it with my mates.
Read it if you want to, and enjoy.
Kalu Nana
Sena Nanayakkara
WHY
MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men
Are Just Happier People --
What
do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your
last name stays put.
The
garage is all yours.
Wedding
plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate
is just another snack...
You
can never be pregnant.
You
can wear a white T-shirt when you swim in the sea.
You
can wear NO shirt to swim in the sea.
Car
mechanics tell you the truth.
The
world is your urinal.
You
don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same
work, more pay.
Wrinkles
add character.
Wedding
dress £3000. Morning suit rental £100.
People
never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One
mood all the time.
Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You
know stuff about tanks.
A
five-day holiday requires only one small suitcase.
You
can open all your own jars.
You
get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If
someone forgets to invite you,
He
or she can still be your friend.
Your
underwear is £5.95 for a three-pack.
Three
pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You
almost never have strap problems in public.
You
are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything
on your face stays its original colour.
The
same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You
only have to shave your face and neck.
You
can play with toys all your life.
One
wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You
can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You
can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You
have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You
can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On
December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men
Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Ranee,
Sujatha and Swarna go out for lunch, they will call each other Ranee, Sujatha
and Swarna. If Cyril, Nalin and Nihal go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Crazy and Wildman.
EATING
OUT
When
the bill arrives, Cyril, Nalin and Nihal will each throw in £20, even though
it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will
actually admit they want change back.
When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A
man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A
woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A
man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not
be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A
woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A
woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A
woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING
UP
A
woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer
the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A
man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men
wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah,
children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.
A
man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT
FOR THE DAY
A
married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing forever! (Author Unknown at present)
