Vodka anyone? I'll drink to that! - email from Sunil Liyanage

 This a fantastic act so don't miss it!
Want a good Vodka drink? Watch this! -AMAZING

Doesn't look like he spills a drop!!!!


 

I need to have this guy at our next party!!!!!!
 

http://www.youtube.com/embed/60GJ0dJ1xmE?rel=0

 

Old time cricket - email from jksw.

Subject: Fwd: Cricket

Seventeen minutes, but worth watching every minute.....Enjoy! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiZMde1MLrA&feature=player_embedded

Old Ceylon - email from Gallege De Silva.

Sent: Friday, 5 July 2013 7:43 AM
Subject: Nostalgic photos of Ancient Sri Lanka

 Nostalgic photos of Ancient Sri Lanka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u72tAhiDQoc

These encapsulating photos of ancient Sri Lanka compared to the development Colombo has undergone of late is a wonderful way to appreciate the past and present.

It would be good for public places to feature these photos of numerous others in the relevant areas and would like to suggest Bus Stands as appropriate so that locals and tourists alike can see what Sri Lanka was like in ancient times...

Kilinochchi - email from jksw

To: "J. K. S. Weerasekera"
Cc:
Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2013 10:51:08 +0530
Subject: FW: Hope in Killinochchi

Forwarded below an account of Kilinochchi.

People abroad get their news English media to whom deep within, Asians yet remain  expendables, 20 million people quite so. To wit, supply of arms with the right to invade up the sleeve.

Some of my forwarded first hand accounts by credible people have been construed as propaganda.

In my many trips up north  Kilinochchi showed dramatic improvements from 2010 on , so much so 1 ½ years ago, our car was copped for blowing the horn passing the magistrates court. The cops were civil but explained that the judge was very strict on noise.

This is forwarded. I do not know the author  but I have been at this orphanage. Not seen the unfortunate ladies, but I conjecture that everytime there is any fighting the poorest around will get the brunt. Jaffna escaped that.

I do know that very cleverly the army has been utilized building infrastructure, which they do with pride and gusto – they use correct  cement to sand ratios unlike some contractors!

So soldiers deliver water from the Iranmadu tank to Jaffna?

That new road to Mullaithivu which I travelled a few months ago has cut down travel time hugely, so any patient from the new Mullaithivu Hospital (which is in the short term short of specialists) can be quickly transferred to Vavunia Hospital with sufficient facilities.

There is a lot of social movement between the public and the army, some combatants striking deep friendships, some even getting married.

There were 3 Sinhala boys in the cricket team that beat the visitors. Hope it is not construed as colonization with the south so full of all communities.

I add the comments above from personal experience.

The article below is readworthy.

jksw    

 

This is an account of a hopeful story from my friend Skanda Kumar Aruni.

It is these acts of kindness and humaneness that raises hopes for our country.

--Nimal

Just back from Killinochchi (at 4 am Monday morning after having left at 8 am on Sunday ) !!

It was a  rewarding trip that allowed a group of us to visit an orphanage of 330 children,

and see the work a retired GA in charge, Rasanayagam is doing for them and for 6000 widows in that area.

We also visited  Harmony Centre constructed by the army

that  will soon provide access to IT, English etc

and also has a badminton court and modest gym facilities...

We then went to a village adopted by the Foundation of Goodness

(Kusils Met up with around 15 educated young women looking for opportunities to be self employed.

I have returned with a proposal they have made to that which will require Rs 150,000 ( to become a supplier to the many shops in town of consumer products )and once it is examined and approved by Kushils staff I will try and raise the funds and channel it through the foundation for monitoring purposes.

We saw  for ourselves the interaction between the army and the civilian population

that was reflected in the resurgence of perhaps the biggest town in the North that was devastated in the closing stages of the war.

We saw the work that is being coordinated by the army

to take the water from the Iranamadu tank to Jaffna to provide drinking water in the North.

Finally the purpose of our visit ....to witness the first ever match
between a visiting Australian club u 17 team with a combined North East team ( also u 17 )...

and was very impressed with what we saw ( Michael Tissera was also there ) in terms of talent fitness and performance as

they beat the visitors by 70 runs ( made 173 in their turn at batting after winning the toss ) in a T 20 game.

The team had 3 sinhala boys and the rest were tamils and they blended well together.

There were over 4000 spectators, on the main ground in the centre of town,( matting pitch) and the arrangements were in the hands of the army ( headed by a very committed CO Maj Gen Udaya Perera ) and the attention to detail in all respects truly amazed us all !!

Finally 84 bicycles ( Rs 10,000 each ) were gifted to a similar number of schoolgirls through Sangakkaras Bike for Life Fund at the tea break, while at the end of the game the Australian players gifted a bike to each of the North East team players... donated by them, their parents and David Cruz ( a Sri Lankan born Australian now domiciled here who was responsible fo arranging the tour with Kushil Gunansekera). David pledged 2 turf pitches for the ground and the CO volunteered the army's services to maintain them !

I am aware that there have been mixed reactions to the role of the army in areas recovering from the war......

what we saw in our limited stay told us that

there is a sincere and committed effort being made to win hearts and minds

and the progress was there for us to see.

Our team  comprised of Kushil , Michael, self, 2 ex-UNDP and UN employed Sri Lankans (now retired ) and their spouses.

Cheers - Skanda

I will now try and get some sleep !!! and will send you some photos in due course.

 

Red Skelton and marriage - email jksw

>
> For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will
> enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what
> you missed. Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great
> entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was
> known for his clean humour.
>
> RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
> FOR THE PERFECT
> MARRIAGE >
> 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
> little beverage, good food and companionship.
> She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
>
> 2. We also sleep in separate beds.
> Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
>
> 3.I take my wife everywhere,
> but she keeps finding her way back.
>
> 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
> "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
> So I suggested the kitchen.
>
> 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
>
> 6. She has an electric blender, electric
> toaster and electric bread maker.
> She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
> to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
>
> 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
> because there was water in the carburetor.
> I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
>
> 8.She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
> Then the mud fell off.
>
> 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
> for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
>
> 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
>
> 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
> first name was ' Always'.
>
> 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
> I don't like to interrupt her.
>
> 13.The last fight was my fault though.
> My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
> I said, "Dust!".
>
> Can't you just hear him say all of these?
>
> I love it. These were the good old days when humour
> didn't have to start with a four letter word.
> It was just clean and simple fun.
> And he always ended his programs with the words,
>
> "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
>
>
>

Four Hour Erection - email jksw

What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than
4hours?

Earl walked into a drug store in Kentucky and asked to talk to a male
pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the only
pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male
employees. She then asked if she could help him. Earl said that it was
something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male
pharmacist. The lady pharmacist assured him that she was completely
professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be
confident that she would treat him with a high level of professionalism.

Earl then agreed and began by saying, 'This is tough for me to discuss, but,
I get erections every day that last more than four hours. It causes me a lot
of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could
give me for it.'

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister.."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this is the
absolute best we can do:   A 1/3 ownership in the store, a company pickup truck, a king size bed and $3,000 a month in living expenses.

 

Modern Day Cartoons - email jksw

 

Migrating to Australia - email jksw

A Chinese man decides to retire and move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a small piece of land . A few days after moving in,the friendly Aussie neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate  into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom',

he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way,...pause...., and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs?
I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood, and see you running around the yard after hens.The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.'

The Chinese man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no ... Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.'

'What do you mean mate' says the Aussie, 'Those aren't Australian customs.'

Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me' replied the Chinese man,'He say to become true Australian, I must learn to..... chase chicks,..... get piss drunk, and .... listen to bull-shit.'

 

The Burghers of Sri Lanka - email from jksw

Hooray!

Long Live The Burghers.

 A MUST read.

Our Good Friends, The Burghers
We Cannot Think Of Ceylon Without Them

I have a great predilection towards Burghers.

Not only because I have many bosom cronies in that community, but because I have spent some of the happiest years of my boyhood in their homes.

The finest lady that I ever knew was a Burgher.

The most select gentleman of my acquaintance is a Burgher; and if some unfortunate Muslim girl fails to discover me, I could still discover both intelligence and beauty in a Burgher girl.

This is merely a personal outburst, because a fair face seldom fails to floor me.

But the Burghers are not only fair of face, along with the attractive complexion they have, in addition, their broad sense of fair play and fair dealing make them the easiest to get on with in the world.

We have been brothers and sisters in blood for we have tasted more things than salt together.

They Give Zest.

They are a Western graft upon an Eastern tree, but so well have they acclimatized and endearedthemselves to the native soil that we cannot  think of a Ceylon without Burghers.

If there were no Burgher girls to scatter radiance on the way:

Wellawatte would be a dull strip of sand;

Bambalapitiya a barren wilderness of wind;

Colpetty and Dehiwala gloomy haunts of melancholy.

With their good looks and musical voices they give a definite zest to social life, dancing with hips of rhythm and crooning melodies that are filled with moonlit dreams.
The sparkle of life is in their eyes and the tremor of love is on their lips.

They have captured all the romance in the world and shut it all to themselves, that nomatchmakers can enter into their lives with deceitful talk of daughters and of dowries; and so they believe in marrying for love and believe also in all the sacrifices involved in the one greatadventure of love.

Eyes so frank.

They wear their hearts on their sleeves and in the frank lustre of their eyes one can read their very souls.

Faithful as friends and forgiving as enemies, they are always too good-natured to be obstinately malicious and too easy-going to bear any rancour.

They are the descendants of all those Portuguese who came along with Lorenzo d’Almeida or of the Dutch who arrived with Joris Van Spilbergen.

The former held the land for 134 years and the Hollanders for over 156, and although their governments have disappeared, the two nations remain with us, as Burghers.

Intellects

Theirs have been some of the greatest intellects of the land.

The past has given us Dornhorst and Lorenz; the present has Blaze and Schneider. Maartensz and Wille are men of the age we live in; and in the field of sport as in the realm of music, Kelaart, Foenander, Arndt and Zilwa are names of high repute, while the Van Langenbergs are men of wide renown.

Remains also with them the blessed light of Christianity that they brought into the island; the Roman-Dutch Law; the forts that they built and the canals they constructed.

Those forts may crumble and the canals run dry but Portuguese or Dutch we have always in our midst our tried friends the Burghers.

“The government officers”, explains the well-known Dutch Burgher historian of Ceylon, “were known as Company’s Servants and the non-officials as Burghers or Viyburgers (free Burghers)”.

From these Burghers were appointed officers for the Burgery, an armed force composed of Tupasses, (people of mixed Portuguese descent).

When the rule of the Company ceased in 1796 there could be no Company’s Servants any longer and all the Dutch people in Ceylon became Burghers.

They are the sponsors of Western art and fashion in our midst.

They are a vivacious occidental group in a sedate Eastern land.

Cocktails and Fox Trots will not join the Dodo as long as there are Burghers in the country.

Besides, is not music the greatest passion of their lives and beauty their common heritage?

Great Race, this, the Burghers.

Happy Bonds

Politics do not flutter them; they like the men of the land and the men of the land are fond of them and these happy bonds of love are often drawn closer together with a ring of beaten gold and a vow before the altar.

They are certainly not an effeminate people:

The heroic spirit of Constantine de Sa and the martial spirit of Azevedo still linger in the hearts of their descendants,

So, in every branch and walk of life have proved themselves to be an honour to their country and community.

Whether in the learned professions or in the government service or lower   down in the humbler crafts which the poorer ones follow for the sake of their living, they have singularly distinguished themselves by their honesty and integrity, just as wherever they go they must have, in their own characteristic manner and according to their lot in life, their feasts and musicalfestivals.

They fill a very big place in the social life of the country and if we Muslims have not quarrelled with them and have found them to be the pleasantest of friends, it is mainly because of their savoir faire and good breeding and of the winning ways of their men as of the smiling charm of their ladies.

Laughter the best medicine email Gallege De Silva.

! One line humour.   Regular naps prevent old age,Especially if you take them while driving.   Having one child makes you a parent;Having two you are a referee.   Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!   I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile.I tried - but they wanted cash.   A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. Don't marry the person you want to live with, Marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.   You can't buy love,But, you pay heavily for it.   Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.   Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.   Marriage is give and take.You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.   My wife and I always compromise.I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.   Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.   Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.   A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, Always with the same person.   You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.   It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,He still ends up with the same boss.   Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.   Saving is the best thing.Especially when your parents have done it for you.   Wise men talk because they have something to say;Fools talk because they have to say something.   They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!   Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr:    Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr:    No, but then the thought of long life will never come.   Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!   Wife:Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband:Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.   It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.   There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!

 

 

 

Drafting guys over 60yrs to the Army.

Lakshman Karalliedde	10:45 PM (7 hours ago)

This not funny-with all the 'cuts' here there and everywhere, imagine the savings on pensions, old people's homes, hospital care and after all , at this stage, the ending may be exciting!

 

Drafting Guys Over 60

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.