Friday, March 15, 2013

Childhood pictures - email jksw

cid:B20400A07C9147C9B81FB458E0AB37BC@user83ab5f2d91


The psychiatrist tells me this is probably where your problems all started !!



Thursday, March 14, 2013

Politics - email from Sunil Liyanage.



Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber~Plato

The problem with political jokes is they get elected~Henry Cate, VII

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office~Aesop

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these campaign speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven~Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates~Jay Leno

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country~Texas Guinan

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.~Gore Vidal

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians~Charles de Gaulle

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. ~Ronald Reagan
Politics: [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"] ~Larry Hardiman

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks~Doug Larson

Don't vote, it only encourages them~Author Unknown

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators and congressmen~Will Rogers

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ripe Bananas - email from Kamalini Kanapathyppillai.


 Subject:   Caution while selecting bananas 
   
Selling of forced ripened bananas is so true and becoming a common thing. How do we stop it?
I believe mangoes are also dipped in a chemical to stop getting rotten. Note how tasteless
they were this summer?
 

Caution when selecting bananas


At the rate of $1.99 – $6.99 per KG.
, death is being sold nowadays in our markets.

My request for everybody is to be vigilant.

Friends, we all love bananas and we eat a lot of them, but the bananas available in the market are forced ripe by dipping in water mixed with Carbide.

The consumption of these bananas is 100% sure to cause Cancer or some other infection in the stomach. Therefore, such type of bananas are to be avoided.
 

But, how does one recognize the bananas ripened with the help of Carbide? 

Bananas 
which are ripened naturally are dark yellow and have small black spots here and there on the bananas and thestalks are black.

Those which are forced ripe with Carbide are 
lemon yellow and their stalks are green and they are clear yellow without any black spots. 

Now, what is Carbide and how is it harmful?
Carbide is a chemical which if mixed with water, emits heat


The heat emitted by a closed tank mixed with Carbide is even more than that emitted by a LPG Cylinder - it can be used for Gas Cutting (which means the calorific value is so high that it can replace LPG gas).

In the same way, when the bunch of bananas are dipped in the water mixed with Carbide, the gas gets absorbed into the bananas and they get ripe.

However, the banana vendors are not that literate and so they do not know the exact proportion of Carbide to be used for a dozen of bananas.

As a result they end up using excess quantity of Carbide which gets absorbed into the bananas and ultimately enters our stomach.
 

Due to this excess use of Carbide, Tumours can be formed in our digestive system.


So, next time you purchase bananas, make sure you select the naturally ripened ones. 


Please pass it on to others in your mailing list.

 
 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

IQ test - email from Lawrence Ratnam.


LawrenceRatnam@aol.com
22:34 (7 hours ago)
to lawrenceratnam
LAUGH AT BILL GATES AND HIS SCORE OF THREE JUST YET!!
This one is fun!! Think carefully. 
You are going to hate yourself over this. 
It scores automatically, too. 
Take this advice.... think before you answer. 
Click here: How Smart Are You?

Women losing weight in France - email jksw

Playboy Calendar, 1890 email jksw

Fr
Sent: Wednesday, March 06, 2013 9:10 PM
Subject: PLAYBOY CALENDAR.....1890


 

Is Hugh Hefner THAT old?
FROM THE EPOCH OF OUR GREAT-GRANDPARENTS         PLAYBOY     MAGAZINE  -------   YEAR 1890  
Nice. There’s  meat in them thar bones!















PLAYBOY CALENDAR... 1890! 
   Notice--not one of them is less than a size 12-14!!!!
   Guess women looked better with meat on them 

World Portrait



The world population has now reached 07 billion people.

This milestone inspired us to conduct research to update our statistics, and the changes over the past 05 years are remarkable.

In 2006, only 01 person out of 100 would have had a college education-- today that number has jumped to 07 thanks in part to advances in higher education in Asia.

The detailed research and source information can be found here and the statistics provided by Donella Meadows in 1990 that originally inspired our project can be viewed here.
If the World were 100 PEOPLE:
50 would be female
50 would be male

26 would be children
There would be:
74 adults,
08 of whom would be 65 and older

There would be:
60 Asians
15 Africans
14 people from the Americas
11 Europeans

33 Christians
22 Muslims
14 Hindus
07 Buddhists
12 people who practice other religions
12 people who would not be aligned with a religion

12 would speak Chinese
05 would speak Spanish
05 would speak English
03 would speak Arabic
03 would speak Hindi
03 would speak Bengali
03 would speak Portuguese
02 would speak Russian
02 would speak Japanese
62 would speak other languages

83 would be able to read and write;
17 would not.

07 would have a college degree.
22 would own or share a computer.

77 people would have a place to shelter them from the wind and the rain, but
23 would not.

01 would be dying of starvation
15 would be undernourished
21 would be overweight

87 would have access to safe drinking water
13 people would have no clean, safe water to drink



Sources: 2012 - Fritz Erickson, Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs, Ferris State University (Formerly Dean of Professional and Graduate Studies, University of Wisconsin - Green Bay) and John A. Vonk, University of Northern Colorado, 2006; Returning Peace Corps Volunteers of Madison Wisconsin, Unheard Voices: Celebrating Cultures from the Developing World, 1992; Donella H. Meadows,The Global Citizen, May 31, 1990. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

Coconut oil and Alzheimer's disease - email from Sunil Liyanage

We do not see much Alzheimers disease in Sri Lanka. Is Coconut oil the protector? Click on the web-link below:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ZZOR-Qd3QSg

Insults with class - email from Sunil Liyanage.


Sunil Liyanage
22:22 (6 hours ago)
to Sunil


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.

·  A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on
the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies
or your mistress."


· "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


· "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
admire." - Winston Churchill


·    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow


·    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


·    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas


·    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." - Mark Twain


·    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." -
Oscar Wilde


·    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if
there is one." -  Winston Churchill, in response.


·   "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you
here." - Stephen Bishop

·  "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


·  "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


·    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in
others." - Samuel Johnson


·   "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul
 Keating


·  "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


·  "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


·   "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?" - Mark Twain


· "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


·  "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they
go." - Oscar Wilde


·  "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


· "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


· "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it." -
Groucho Marx

The future Physician - email from Gallege De Silva.

This is a real eye-opener trust me, and even better when coupled to NBN for immediate second opinions
Click: iDoctor

If that doesn't work click on this:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=r13uYs7jglg

Spring-loaded bathing suit - email jksw.

















Guess what the above is?

No, it is not an eye patch,
No, it is not a head band,
No, it is not a knee brace,
No, it is not a medical support,
it is from France ...........and it is



















a spring loaded Bathing suit!

So what is new?
We are spring loaded too!

REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















Not recommended for water skiing, surfing or
diving!
GOD

BLESS ENGINEERS

EVERYWHERE!!!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Driving in old age.


For senior citizens; a vexed question.
jksw



  


         
When should one stop driving

How do you know when it is time to "hang up the car keys"?
 I say
A picture is worth ……… !!!







I bet you will send this one on
 
It made me smile too!


Married life - Fw by jksw


The collected works of -the late-- Parsaan

"DO NOT TRY AT HOME"

1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  (David Bissonette)

2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.  (Sacha Guitry)

3. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)  

4. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.  (RICARDO)

5. The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"  (Dumas)

6. I had few words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.  (Sigmund Freud)

7. 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'  (Anonymous)

8. 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It's called marriage.'  (Sam Kinison) 

9. 'I've had bad luck with both my wives..The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'  (James Holt McGavra) 

10. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming - Whenever you're wrong, admit it, - Whenever you're right, shut up.  (Patrick Murra) 

11. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....  (Nash)

12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.  (Anonymous)

13. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.  (Henny Youngman) 

14. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.  (Rodney Dangerfield) 

15. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'  (Anonymous) 

16. First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'  (Anonymous) 

Three Black Men - email from sjkw


3 Naked Black Men--(deserves a prize)



At the National Art Gallery , in Dublin Ireland , a Canadian couple were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men, totally naked, sitting on a park bench.

Two of the figures had black penises but the one in the middle, had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of the black man in a predominately white, patriarchal society.

“In fact,” he pointed out, “some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.”

After the curator left, an Irish man approached the couple and said,“Would you like to know what the painting is really about?”

“Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?” asked the husband.

“Because I’m the guy who painted it.” he replied.

”In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."



Benefits of meditation - Forwarded by Kamalini Kanapathippillai.