The joke of the millennium: email from jksw.

*Teacher* -"Where is the CAPITAL of SRI LANKA ?" 
*Student* -"In Swiss Banks"

Marketing - email from jksw

       A Professor explained Marketing to MBA students

       1. You see gorgeous girl in party,
       you go to her & say I am rich marry me
       That's Direct Marketing.

       2. You attend party & your friend goes to a girl & pointing at you
       tells her. He' is very rich, marry him - That's Advertising.

       3. Girl walks to you & says u are rich, can u marry me?
       "That's Brand Recognition"

       4. You say I m very rich marry me & she slaps u
       "That's Customer Feedback"

       5. You say I m very rich marry me & she introduces you to her husband
       "That's Demand & Supply Gap"

       6. Before you say I m rich, marry me, your wife arrives
       That's Restriction from Entering New Market

Playing golf email from jksw

Gods punishment!

jksw

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So .... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

Setting up on the first tee, he was all alone. After all, it was Sunday
morning and everyone else was in church!

Watching this sacrilege  Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord, while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!



St. Peter looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"  

'Getting to know you'

A lovely piece from the Broadway musical "The King and I", a hit in the 1960s.
Click on the link below and listen carefully to the words of the lilting music:-


Song from the movie 'The King and I'. Click below:-

http://youtu.be/bRpeFRc_xM4

The cartoon version, click below :-

http://youtu.be/X3Zqw7--fuU

A stage version, click below:-

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJheD6XZDsg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Expertise - email jksw

Break time,….good story.

PS

Reminds me of an incident in the life of Dr.Stanley de Silva - Paediatrician, Lady Ridgeway Hospital, Sri Lanka.

"Dr.Silva had to give evidence in courts. He was being cross-examined. The question put to him was 'Doctor you have submitted a bill for R,25/- (A large sum of money those days) to issue this medical certificate to say that this person is in normal health. Don't you think that this bill is too much?'

Dr.Stanley de Silva replied:-

' It is easy to diagnose an illness in a patient. It needs a lot ot of experience to affirm that a patient is free of any disease'.

Philip G V
 
 


 

Motion Induced Blindness - email from Piyusha Atapattu

This is very interesting to know.  Take the test and see for yourselves. .  Need to keep your eyes moving and head swirling!   In a motor accident, wherein a speeding car hits a slower moving vehicle coming from the side, the speeding car drivers often swear that they just didn’t see the vehicle coming from the left or right. Well, they aren’t lying. They really don’t see the vehicle coming from the side, in spite... of broad daylight. This phenomenon on the car drivers’ part is known as “Motion Induced Blindness”. It is unbelievable but it is true, and it is definitely frightening. Armed forces pilots are taught about motion induced blindness during training, because it happens faster at high speeds; and to some extent it is applicable to car drivers also, especially the fast ones. So, if you drive a car, please read this carefully. Once airborne, pilots are taught to alternate their gaze between scanning the horizon and scanning their instrument panel, and never to fix their gaze for more than a couple of seconds on any single object. They are taught to continually keep their heads on a swivel and their eyes always moving. Because, if you fix your gaze on one object long enough while you yourself are in motion, your peripheral vision goes blind. That’s why it is called motion induced blindness. For fighter pilots, this is the only way to survive in air; not only during aerial combat, but from peacetime hazards like mid-air collisions as well. Till about three decades ago, this “heads on swivel & eyes moving” technique was the only way to spot other aircraft in the skies around. Now-a-days they have on-board radars, but the old technique still holds good. Let me give you a small demonstration of motion induced blindness. This is the same demonstration that is used for trainee pilots in classrooms before they even go near an aircraft. Just click on the link below. You will see a revolving array of blue crosses on a black background. There is a flashing green dot in the center and three fixed yellow dots around it. If you fix your gaze on the green dot for more than a few seconds, the yellow dots will disappear at random…, either singly, or in pairs, or all three together. In reality, the yellow dots are always there. Just watch the yellow dots for some time to ensure that they don’t go anywhere! http://www.msf-usa.org/motion.html (You can alter the background color or the rpm of the array by clicking the appropriate buttons. So, if you are driving at a high speed on a highway and if you fix your gaze on the road straight ahead, you will not see a car, a scooter, a buggy, a bicycle, a buffalo or even a human being approaching from the side. Now reverse the picture. If you are crossing a road on foot and you see a speeding car approaching…, there’s a 90% chance that the driver isn’t seeing you, because his/her peripheral vision may be blind! And you may be in that blind zone!     Sharuka image001.jpg 46K   View   Share   Download

Future is NOW!!! - email jksw

Subject:

See the  future in medicine!    Quo Vadis ?                                           Click   on: iDoctor

Proud and Prejudiced by Rodney Ferdinands, Book

A superb book on old Ceylon from a Burghers point of view.
Click on the web-link below to download the pdf format book:-

http://www.ferdinandus.com/Proudandprejudiced/P&P.pdf

Clock - email from Piyusha Atapattu

THIS IS DELIGHTFUL ! 

 

EVER SEE  A CLOCK LIKE THIS? CLICK ON THE PURPLE LINK BELOW to see an unusual clock which gives exact  time:     Ø§ÛŒÙ†Ø¬Ø§ کلیک Ú©Ù†