Sunday, June 23, 2019

Odds and ends

Running at 100 years
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/20/sports/julia-hawkins-running.html?utm_medium=sundayedition.ads.20190623.421.1&utm_source=email&utm_content=article&utm_campaign=10-for-today---4.0-styling



Banned classic novels

Cornea surgery


WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE!!
 

 
    A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a
 woman may go to choose a husband.  Among the instructions at the entrance
 is a description of how the store operates:
 
                   WELCOME TO THE HUSBAND STORE!!
 
           You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!  There are six
           floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
           shopper ascends the flights.  There is, however, a
                   catch... you may choose any man from a particular  floor,
 or you may choose to go up floor, but you cannot go back down except to
 exit the building!
           Happy Shopping!!!!
 
    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
    On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
 
           Floor 1:    These men have jobs and love the Lord.
 
    The second floor sign reads:
 
           Floor 2:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, and like  kids.
 
    The third floor sign reads:
 
           Floor 3:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids and are extremely good looking.
 
    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.  She goes  to the
 fourth floor and sign reads:
 
           Floor 4:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids, are drop-dead good looking and help
                            with the housework.
 
    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'  Still, she  goes
 to the fifth floor and sign reads:
 
           Floor 5:    These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
                            kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the 
 housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
 
    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
 reads:
 
           Floor 6:    You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There  are
 no men on this floor. This floor exists
                   solely as proof that women are impossible to
                   please.  Thank you for shopping at the Husband
                   Store.  Watch your step as you exit the building,
                   and have a nice day!
 


No comments: