Sunday, December 2, 2012

email from Lawrence Ratnam



Gotta Love The Irish
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'
Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'

Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'

'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly!
From one unstable person to another...
I hope everyone in your head is happy - we're all doing pretty good in mine!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Painting, Green Path, Colombo, Sri Lanka - email from Susiri Weerasekara.


Green Path, the road running by the side of Victoria Park, Colombo has a
row of displayed local paintings on canvas as a semi permanent feature.
They do give colour to the city.
Most are of acrylic paint, a few in oil. Most have local content, though a
few are western in appearance.
Cost around Rs 3000-5000.

I bought this 2 1/2 ft x 3 1/2ft item for around Rs 2000/ a few years ago.
Painted by a teen girl.

Look no ornate frame. Frames cost far more than a picture!
It hangs on one nail on the wall at home.
jksw

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Married life - email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai

Date: Mon, 5 Nov 2012 06:16:20 +0000
WOW ! 
To have and to hold ... for 87 years! World's longest married couple share their secrets to living happily ever after
  • Karam, 107, and Katari, 100, have been married for 87 years
  • They have 8 children and 28 grandchildren together
  • The marriage is almost 5 years longer than current Guinness record holders
  • Couple say that laughter and looking after each other is key to marriage
By Bianca London

PUBLISHED: 12:08 GMT, 1 November 2012 | UPDATED: 12:08 GMT,

 1 In an age where few marriages endure the test of time, 107-year-old Karam and his wife Katari Chand, 100, are proof that happy ever after does exist.
The couple, who have eight children and twenty eight grandchildren together, have lived in wedded bliss for 87 years making them the world's longest married couple.
The pair say that the key to success is looking after each other in every way possible: ‘My trick is to make Katari laugh. I like to tell jokes and make her smile. Being funny is my way of being romantic.' says Karam.
Karam and Katari Chand have been married for 87 years and are in the process of being confirmed as Guinness World Record holders for the world's longest marriage
Karam and Katari Chand have been married for 87 years and are in the process of being confirmed as Guinness World Record holders for the world's longest marriage
‘I have been told laughing makes you live longer... my wife is still alive so it must have worked! I love her so much and I want to spend another 80 years by her side,’ said Karam.
From romantic meals to sharing jokes, the couple, who hail from Punjab, India and now live in Bradford ensure that they do little things for each other to keep the romance alive.
 


Katari told romantic networking site Zoosk.co.uk: ‘When I was young I used to make him a nice fresh meal every night. We are vegetarian so I brought lots of fresh vegetables and made sure he was eating healthy food.
‘Health is very important and I wanted to look after him so we could grow old together. Some would say it has worked!
The couple, who are both over 100, have eight children and twenty eight grandchildren together
The couple, who are both over 100, have eight children and twenty eight grandchildren together
‘Oh and how can I forget, I always save a bit of my chapatti for him. Just a little gesture that he appreciated a lot and it kept me a bit slimmer.’
Karam, who likes to do a word search every day to keep his mind alive, believes that spending plenty of time together has helped their marriage last.
‘We have not spent any long span apart in over 50 years. We go everywhere together – up until a few years ago we went to India every year with the family and for all family weddings we make sure we get to stay together,’ he said.
They maintain that the key to standing the test of time in marriage is looking after each other in every way possible
They maintain that the key to standing the test of time in marriage is looking after each other in every way possible
Their marriage has lasted nearly five years longer than that of the current Guinness World Record holders and the couple are in the process of getting confirmation from the company that they will be named as the new record holders.
Many modern day romances fail to stand the test of time but longevity and experience makes Karam the best man to go to for relationship advice.
‘In the past people used to listen. Now I don’t think people take the time to listen to each other properly. People seem too busy today with work, TV and other stuff going on around them.
‘Relationships are about understanding one another and listening to concerns and problems, so my advice to men and women is to listen to their partners, show interest in what they are saying and help them overcome any worries or problems they are going through,’ he said.
Karam and Katari Chand received a certificate of achievement from dating site Zoosk

The couple love to make each other laugh and will have a joint birthday celebration in November
The couple love to make each other laugh and will have a joint birthday celebration in November
And their son Satpaul, who is extremely proud of his parent’s relationship, added his own words of wisdom.
He said: ‘One piece of advice that I can’t stress enough is to keep your parents very close. We live with them in Bradford and look after them because we want to help them live as long as they can together.
‘I don’t want to see their love story end. I truly believe that by helping them over the last few years we have enabled them to enjoy their time together with no stress and being looked after. 
'Also, you have to value them while they are here because you never know how long they are going to be around for.’
The still loved-up couple, who met through an arranged marriage, are having a big party in November to celebrate Karam’s 107th and Katari’s 100th birthday. The Mayor of Bradford as well as lots of community members will be joining in the festivities.

THEIR TOP FIVE TIPS TO KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE

  • Always be faithful: always be faithful to one another. When you get married you commit to devoting your life to that person and even when the times are tough, don’t believe that the grass is greener...because it isn’t.
  • Look after each other as best you can: if you want to grow old with your partner you have to make sure you always look after each other in every shape and form. Whether it is making a meal, holding your partners hand when crossing the road or being a shoulder to cry on when something goes wrong.
  • Be tolerant of each other: everyone has bad habits or annoying traits. Whether it is leaving a towel on the floor or listening to the radio too loudly, you have to tolerate each other and realise that no one is perfect. Of course we irritate each other occasionally, but if you want to last nearly 90 years, learn to love bad habits or it won’t work.
  • Listen to each other: the most important thing in a relationship is to listen. People don’t listen anymore because they are too busy with work and TV. Listen to your loved ones’ problems and concerns every day, because then you can help them overcome them and be happier. Also, it brings you closer together because you are the first port of call for each other when there is an issue in your life.
  • Follow social and religious values: always make sure you follow social or religious values. Respect, care, cherish, love and value your partner – always treat them how you would want to be treated yourself.
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Jega Pasupati




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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Chinese built ports - email from Susiri Weerasekara

email from Gallege de Silva




Truly special!

We really take life for granted sometimes hey?
 
This is a wonderful, one minute clip
Full of wisdom. . . . and very brief.
It's not a joke, it's not religious, it's not political.
It's just . . . special.
I think you'll agree.
Please enjoy this one minute clip.
It has a meaning for all of us.
  
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=medium
 
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email from Dawood

This is the Captain speaking


Monday, November 26, 2012

email from Lawrance Ratnam - Getting old.


LawrenceRatnam@aol.com
17:41 (12 hours ago)
to undisclosed recipients
SWEET OLD LADY PRAYS:
A sweet old lady is asked to say Grace at a gathering of "Seniors at Home" caregivers, and she brought down the house about 90 seconds into her prayer. Enjoy !
=