Why I Like Retirement !

email from Imelda
 

Question: How many days in a week?  Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday  Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?  Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.  Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?  Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.  Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?  Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.  Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?  Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.  Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?  Answer: Tied shoes.  Question: Why do retirees count pennies?  Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.  Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?  Answer: NUTS!  Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?  Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.  Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?  Answer: Normal . Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.  Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?  Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.  Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?  Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.  And, my very favorite....  QUESTION: What do you do all week?  Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.  SE N E L ITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,  'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied....  'Two years older than me'  'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..  She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:  'And what do you think is the best thing  about being 104?' the reporter asked...  She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' The nice thing about being senile is  you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them. I've sure gotten old!  I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,  new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.  I'm half blind,  can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,  take 40 different medications that  make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation;  hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.  Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,  I still have my driver's license. I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,  so I got my doctor's permission to  join a fitness club and start exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.  I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,  by the time I got my leotards on,  the class was over. My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. It's scary when you start making the same noises  as your coffee maker. These days about half the stuff  in my shopping cart says,  'For fast relief.' THE SENILITY PRAYER :  Grant me the senility to forget the people  I never liked anyway,  the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and  the eyesight to tell the difference. Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!  Always Remember This:  You don't stop laughing because you grow old,  You grow old because you stop laughing!

VERY IMPORTANT TO READ FOR THOSE WHO TAKE MEDICATIONS, ESPECIALLY AS WE AGE!!

Toastmaster award.

email from

Dawood	27 Sep (2 days ago)

Dananjaya Hettiarachchi, Winner of Toastmasters International speech Contest.

"I see something in you": 

\http://www.businessinsider.com/toastmasters-public-speaking-champion-dananjaya-hettiarachchi-2014-9

Best regards

NFL fever hits Regent Street ahead of Dolphins-Raiders clash.

Thousands of NFL fans have descended on Regent Street to celebrate the return of American Football to London ahead of the Miami Dolphins-Oakland Raiders game at Wembley on Sunday.

Read the full story:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/nfl/article-2771870/NFL-fever-hits-Regent-Street-thousands-American-Football-fans-flock-central-London-ahead-Miami-Dolphins-vs-Oakland-Raiders-clash.html

28 September 2014

German Shepherd throws a tantrum like a toddler to avoid going home.

A dog in the US has become world famous for her insolence after her owner posted a video of her throwing a theatrical tantrum to YouTube. 

Read the full story:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2771672/Watch-German-Shepherd-throws-tantrum-like-toddler-avoid-going-home.html

28 September 2014

Could Sajid Javid be Britain's first Asian Prime Minister?

Sajid Javid, the first man of Asian heritage to hold a position in the Cabinet, was born to parents who had moved to Britain with just £1 to their name. Now some are tipping him as a future leader.

Read the full story:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2771477/Could-Sajid-Javid-Britain-s-Asian-Prime-Minister-His-parents-arrived-just-1-s-minister-That-s-man-believes-immigrants-natural-Tories.html

28 September 2014

Lucien and Sri Kanthi Wijetunga come to UK.

email from 'Kalu Nana'

Had a meal with Lucien and wife Srikanthi at Malabar Junction restaurant in Bloomsbury London.

Dinil Wicks and wife Prabha, Sarojini and me joined the party.
Happy memories indeed.
27.9.14

Benefits of Eating Raw Onions.

email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai. Well, it is surprising to know that these vegetables that we use to add flavour and aroma to the dish have many health benefits. If eaten raw, onion and garlic can be really good for the body. Raw onions have sulphur compounds and essential vitamins that can be best consumed raw. If cooked, the essential nutrients and vitamins get lost. So, if you love onion salad, here are few good reasons to have it regularly. Health benefits of eating raw onions: Cures constipation:  The fibre in raw onions help flush out toxins and hard food particles that get stuck in the intestines. If you are suffering from constipation, have raw onions. An Ayurveda medicine for sore throat:  If you are suffering from cold, cough and a sore throat, have fresh onion juice. Add jaggery or honey to the onion juice. Remedy for bleeding problems:  Have a bleeding nose or suffer from piles? Have raw onions. It is one simple and effective home remedy to cure piles naturally. To cure a bleeding nose, cut a raw onion and smell it for some time. The white onions can help cure bleeding problems. Controls diabetes:  This is one of the health benefits of eating raw onions. If consumed raw, onions increase the production of insulin. So, if you are diabetic, you have a good reason to munch crisp raw onion salad regularly. Protects the heart:  Regular consumption of raw onion protects the heart from coronary diseases. It controls high blood pressure and also opens blocked arteries. This is one of the known health benefits of eating raw onions. Controls cholesterol levels:  The small herbaceous plant vegetable has a very good health benefit for obese people and heart patients. Raw onions control cholesterol by reducing the bad cholesterol (LDL) levels. It has methylallyl sulphide as well as the sulphur-containing amino-acids that lowers bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol (HDL) levels. Prevents growth of cancer cells:  Onion is rich in sulphur compounds. Sulphur protects the body from stomach, colon, breast, lung and prostate cancer and prevents the growth of cancer cells. It also helps cure urinary tract disorders. Treats anaemia:  We often see tears flowing from the eyes while chopping onions. The sulphur-containing oils and organic sulphides lead to tears once it enters the nostrils. These oils help treat anaemia. Note that the oils and the effect of organic sulphides reduce when the onions are cooked. So, to treat anaemia, have raw onions. These are few health benefits of eating raw onions. You can have raw onions in sandwiches, mix with your vegetable salad or use as toppings for hamburgers and chaats. To prevent the strong and pungent mouth odour of raw onions, brush your teeth and have some mouth fresheners like cardamom or clove.