Handicap - email sent by Kitta Rajaratnam

Worth watching video:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GNzBFnUAdo

Poem posted by Kitta Rajaratnam - Heard originally in the 1960s

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER!!

Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,          Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.          Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,          Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.          First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!          My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.          Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;          He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!          And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.          If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!          Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;          He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.          So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.          Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.          And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!          He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.          The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.          When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..          And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;          When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.          Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;          And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!          We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,          He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.          So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:          Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.          And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;          And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.          If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;          Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!          The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,          He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.          Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;          You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!          So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:          NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!