Pensioner's reply...- email from Sunil Liyanage

Repeated for another round of laughs.

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Sunil Liyanage	17:36 (22 hours ago)

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco buying a
large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet 
and was in the checkout queue when a woman 

behind me asked if I had a dog..
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, 
since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse 
I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, 

I was starting the Chum Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 
stone before I woke up in intensive care 

with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your 
pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat 

one or two every time you feel hungry. The
food is nutritionally complete so it works 
well and I was going to try it again. 

(I have to mention here that practically everyone
 in thequeue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned 
me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to 

sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to
have a heart attack he was laughing so 
hard. I'm now banned from Tesco.

Better watch what you ask retired people
They have all the time in the world to 
think of daft things to say.