The car and its driver.

'Karunakaran' a member of the 'batch of 1960 entrants' was working as an Obstetrician - Gynaecologist in the UK. The car he was driving had a rear-end collision while stopped at a traffic light. When he looked in the rear-view mirror he saw a pretty female behind the wheel of the car. Her male companion hurried to confront 'Karu' who was preparing for an altercation. Imagine his surprise when the well built male companion said ' Sorry chum for the accident. The car which banged into you belongs to my wife and she is not the one driving the car'.. 

Being married.

"J. K. S. Weerasekera"
Cc: 
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 08:05:11 +0530
Subject: FW: Hit By A Car

Read on… If you are married. Happy Sinhala and Tamil new Year!

jksw

Husband’s call:

"Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. 

The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amput…………………..."

Wife’s Response:  "Who is Paula?"

And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married.

CHARLES SCHULZ PHILOSOPHY

(This is marvellous!! Scroll through slowly and read carefully to receive and enjoy the full effect.) The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.  4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.  6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.  These are no second-rate achievers.  They are the best in their fields.  But the applause dies.  Awards tarnish.  Achievements are forgotten.  Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one: 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special... 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with. Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money...or the most awards.  They simply are the ones who care the most. Pass this on to those people who have either made a difference in your life, or whom you keep close in your heart, like I did. 'Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow somewhere else! ''Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Taken!"

Accidents, the chancy world.

From: "J. K. S. Weerasekera" 
Subject: FW: Fw: People with sheer bloody luck!

4 ½ minutes. Motor vehicle near accidents.

jksw

From, 2014 12:39 PM
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Subject: Fwd: Fw: People with sheer bloody luck!

  

4 minute you tube presentation interesting

   

http://www.utrend.tv/v/lucky-people

THE BAGPIPER'S TALE.

email forwarded by Gallege De Silva:-

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow 
that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral 
director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family 
or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the 'back and 
beyond'.

    As I was not familiar with the 'sticks', I got lost and, being a typical 
man, I didn't stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently 
gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and 
crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologised to the men 
for being late.

    I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was 
already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played 
out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like 
I've never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I 
wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and 
started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never 
seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for 
twenty years."

Clever Jury

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "J. K. S. Weerasekera"

Jury... The Jury... In a criminal justice system based on 12 individuals not smart enough to get out of jury duty. Here is a jury to be proud of...........  A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.  "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."  He looked toward the courtroom door.  The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.  A minute passed.  Nothing happened.  Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury retired to deliberate.  A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.  "But how?" inquired the lawyer.  "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." The jury foreman replied: "Yes, we did look, But your client didn't."

Hands free phone India

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "J. K. S. Weerasekera" 

Ain’t they comfy!

jksw