Random thoughts - email from Sena Nanayakkara.

Dear  Philip & all my batchmates

 

You may have heard so many of these  hilarious  ‘sexist wise sayings’ over and over again.

 

This is supposed to be a ‘new version’. After reading it, I just could not resist sharing it with my mates.

 

Read it if you want to, and enjoy.

 

Kalu Nana

 

Sena Nanayakkara

 

 

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

 

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt when you swim in the sea.

You can wear NO shirt to swim in the sea.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress £3000. Morning suit rental £100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one small suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £5.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

___________________________________

Men Are Just Happier People

 

NICKNAMES

If Ranee, Sujatha and Swarna go out for lunch, they will call each other Ranee, Sujatha and Swarna. If Cyril, Nalin and Nihal go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Crazy and Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Cyril, Nalin and Nihal will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

MONEY

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing forever!     (Author Unknown at present)

sena nanayakkara

Staying young - email from Piyusha Atapattu

 

 

Stay Young My Friend We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are. ;HOW TO STAY YOUNG  1.. Try everything twice. On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph: "Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!) 3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever... Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!  4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh ,spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. 6.. The tears happen: Endure, grieve and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love: whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.. Your home is your refuge.  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. I love you, my special friend! 11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.. And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. Remember! Lost time can never be found. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.  Wine does not make you FAT .... it makes you LEAN ....(against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.)

 

 

 

Check out - email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai

---

   

 

I found them all so I must be ok for now.

 

 

Subject: Fw: Brain Exercise....This is really neat 

 

 

Anti-Alzheimer exercise Check this out:   They label this an Anti-Alzheimer exercise... To keep a sharp mind! Fascinating! CAN YOU SEE 10 FACES IN THIS TREE?       THERE'S A FACE IN HERE. CAN YOU SEE IT?         CAN YOU SEE THE BABY?         CAN YOU SEE THE KISSING COUPLE?       CAN YOU SEE THE THREE WOMEN?   Send this round' to all your friends, these are really fascinating!           If you find them all you are not at the beginning stages of Alzheimer or Dementia!

        

 

 

Life and what matters in it - email from Piyusha Atapattu.

What Really Matters.pps 1640K   View   Download

In the UK in the 1950s - email jksw

Forwarded.

jksw 

From the laptop of Iqbal

-   For those of you who are old enough to remember, enjoy.  For the rest - it's a history lesson!! Very surprising how time and memory has taken its toll. Have things really changed  this much in our time?          EATING IN THE UK IN THE  FIFTIES AND EARLY SIXTIES        Pasta had not been  invented.      Curry was a surname.      A takeaway was a mathematical  problem.      A pizza was something to do with  a leaning tower.      Bananas and oranges only  appeared at Christmas time.      All crisps were plain; the only  choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.      A Chinese chippy was a foreign  carpenter.      Rice was a milk pudding, and  never, ever part of our dinner.      A Big Mac was what we wore when  it was raining.      Brown bread was something only  poor people ate.      Oil was for lubricating, fat was  for cooking      Tea was made in a teapot using  tea leaves and never green.      Coffee was Camp, and came in a  bottle.      Cubed sugar was regarded as  posh.      Only Heinz made  beans.      Fish didn't have fingers in  those days.      Eating raw fish was called  poverty, not sushi.      None of us had ever heard of  yoghurt.      Healthy food consisted of  anything edible.      People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.      Indian restaurants were only  found in India.      Cooking outside was called  camping.      Seaweed was not a recognised  food.      "Kebab" was not even a word  never mind a food.      Sugar enjoyed a good press in  those days, and was regarded as being white gold.      Prunes were  medicinal.      Surprisingly muesli was readily  available, it was called cattle feed.      Pineapples came in chunks in a  tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.     Water came out of the tap, if  someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it  they would have become a laughing stock.     The one thing that we never ever had on our table at meal time in the fifties .. was elbows!

Irish Sugar Test - email Lesley Sirimanne

 One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and
takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.

He pours some whiskey onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid
around and swallows it.

"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.

"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy.
"The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."

The Cowboy years - email from jksw

 This is for all of us over 60 who enjoyed western movies and stars in our day, it sure brought a tear to the eye  . Enjoy the memories.It  was  clean, relaxing  and  entertaining.

 END OF AN ERA !

THE END OF AN ERA.......

The Roy Rogers Museum in Branson , MO has closed its doors forever..
The contents of the museum were sold at a public auction.
Roy Rogers told his son, if the museum ever operates at a loss,
close it And sell the contents. He complied.

Note the follow-on article truly the end of an era.
Here is a partial listing of some of the items that were sold at auction...

Roy 's 1964 Bonneville sold for $254,500, it was estimated to
Sell between 100 and 150 thousand dollars.
His script book from the January 14,1953 episode of
This Is Your Life sold for $10,000 (EST. $800-$1,000).
A collection of signed baseballs ( Pete Rose, Duke Snyder and
other greats) sold for $3,750.

A collection of signed bats (Yogi Berra, Enos Slaughter,
Bob Feller, and others) sold for $2,750.

Trigger 's saddle and bridle sold for $386,500 (EST. 100-150 K).

One of many of Roy 's shirts sold for $16,250 and one of his many
cowboy hats sold for $17,500.
One set of boot spurs sold for $10,625.
(He never used a set of spurs on Trigger).
A life size shooting gallery sold for $27,500.
Various chandeliers sold from $6,875 to $20,000.
Very unique and artistic in their western style.

Roy 's first Boots
A signed photograph by Don Larsen taken during his
perfect game in the world series against The Dodgers
on Oct. 8, 1953, along with a signed baseball to Roy from Don,
sold for $2,500.

Two fabulous limited edition BB guns in their
original boxes with Numerous photos of Roy, Dale,
Gabby, and Pat sold for $3,750.

A collection of memorabilia from his shows entertaining
the troops in Vietnam sold for $938.
I never knew he was there. His flight jacket sold for $7,500.

His set of dinner ware plates and silverware sold for $11,875.
The Bible they used at the dinner table every night sold for $8,750.
One of several of his guitars sold for $27,500.
Nellybelle sold for $116,500.

A fabulous painting of Roy , Dale, Pat , Buttermilk, Trigger,
and Bullet sold for $10,625.
One of several sets of movie posters sold for $18,750.
A black and white photograph of Gene Autry with a
touching
inscription From Gene to Roy sold for $17,500.
A Republic Productions Poster bearing many autographs of the
People that played in Roy 's movies sold for $11,875.
Dale 's horse, Buttermilk (whose history is very interesting) sold
below The presale estimate for $25,000. (EST. 30-40 K).

Bullet sold for $35,000 (EST. 10-15 K). He was their real pet.
Dale 's parade saddle, estimated to sell between 20-30 K,
sold for $104,500.

One of many pairs of Roy 's boots sold for $21,250.
Trigger sold for $266,500.

Do you remember the 1938 movie The Adventures of Robinhood,
With Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland?
Well Olivia rode Trigger in that movie.

Trigger was bred on a farm co-owned by Bing Crosby.
Roy bought Trigger on a time payment plan for $2,500.
Roy and Trigger made 188 movies together.
Trigger even out did Bob Hope by winning an Oscar in the movie
Son of Paleface in 1953.

It is extremely sad to see this era lost forever. Despite the fact that
Gene and Roy 's movies, As well as those of other great characters,
can be bought or rented for viewing, today 's kids would rather
spend their time playing video games.

Today it takes a very special pair of parents to raise their kids with
the right values and morals.
These were the
great heroes of our childhood, and they did teach
us right from Wrong, and how to have and show respect for each
other and the animals that share this earth.

You and I were born at the right time.
We were able to grow up with these great people even if we
never met them. In their own way they taught us patriotism and honor,
we learned that lying and Cheating were bad, and sex wasn't as important as love. We learned how to suffer through disappointment and failure
and work through it. Our lives were drug free.

So it 's good-bye to Roy and Dale, Gene and Hoppy,
The Lone Ranger and Tonto.
Farewell to Sky King and Superman and Sgt. Friday.
Thanks to Capt..Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers and Capt. Noah
and all those people whose lives touched ours, and made them better.

It was a great ride through childhood.

HAPPY TRAILS MY FRIENDS

Don 't send to anyone under 50...

as they won 't understand or care!