Friday, May 20, 2016

How does light travel

The Choice of Words !!

email forwarded by JKS Weerasekera
Santok Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport-size photograph of his son for college admission. Accidentally, the photograph dropped down from
his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor
below the ends of a woman's saree.

He asked her, "Can you lift your saree? I want to take photograph"....
THE REST IS HISTORY....
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to
see Jaswant Singh on the next bed to him in a worse condition.

Jaswant Singh explained what happened to him. He had gone to a remote village to work. He
finished late & missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel nearby.So he
approached a nearby house & asked the owner whether he can stay there for a
night. The owner replied "I have 2 grown-up daughters. Sorry, you can't stay
here."
Then he approached the next house and asked the owner whether he can stay there for a
night. The owner too replied "I have 3 grown-up daughters. Sorry u can't stay
here."
So he went to the next house & asked "Do you have grown-up
daughters?"
The owner asked
"Why?" and Jaswant Singh replied, "I want to stay for a night."
THE REST IS HISTORY... boooooommmmmmm..!!!

The moral of the story
is:

WORDS CAN SOMETIMES GET
YOU INTO DEEP
TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T
USE THEM CORRECTLY ..............

It is not what the
speaker Meant but the choice of words used!-

How to calm an anxious mind

Damn Good Definitions ...

email from JKSW

ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.

ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

BABY - A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.

CANNIBAL - One who is apt to pass his best friend.

CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.

CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.

COOKIE - A virgin doughnut.

DANCE - A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.

DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.

DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.

DIARY - Book of revelations.

DOCTOR - A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face                             slapped.

ENEMA - A goose with a gush.

EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.

FATHER'S DAY - Nine months before labour day.

GENTLEMAN - One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.

GIGGALO - The egg that laid the golden Goose.

GLAMOUR GIRL - A much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things;
                                   One who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.

HORSE SHOW - A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses' asses showing their horses.

HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.

KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.

HUNG CHOW - Chinese constipation.

A KISS - Upper persuasion for lower invasion;
                Upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.

MASTURBATION - A solo played on a private organ.

METALLURGIST - A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common                                         ore.

MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.

MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.

MOTHER'S DAY - Nine months after fathers day.

DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.

NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.

NURSE - A pan handler.

NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.

PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

PIMP - A crack salesman;
             A nookie bookie.

PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.

RHUMBA - An asset to music.

SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.

SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.

SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.

SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.

STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.

TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals.

TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.

TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.

VISE - Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.

VIRGINITY - A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it's gone forever.

VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
 
 
 
REMEMBER, 
A day without a smile is,
Like a day without sunshine !
A day without sunshine is,
Like ... night !!!



Thursday, May 19, 2016

Chiquitita

Andre Rieu - Chiquitita 2013

ABBA - Chiquitita in spanish


ABBA- Chiquitita Lyrics

https://youtu.be/S68Sc_SoelY


   

Magic mushrooms and depression

Losing interest in sex

A recent article in the West Australian newspaper reported that a woman, Mrs. Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there and he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied:
"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. 
All we did was correct his eyesight." 




jksw