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email from Piyusha Atapattu
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10:06 PM (7 hours ago)
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Photo of a new
generation!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three
young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of
us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!'
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a
first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. It read, 'The opinions
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get
the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now,
she's hitting the bottle.'
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the
YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't
you ever seen a little boy before?'
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine
vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl
about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a
cop?' 'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I
ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,'
I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please
tie my shoe?'
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when
I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little
boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It
sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the
back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
ELDERLY (Absolutely love
this one!)
While working for an
organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking
in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her
parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't
wear that suit. ' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning.'
DEATH
While walking along the
sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar
wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The
minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned
his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the
Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'(I want this line used
at my funeral!)
SCHOOL
A little girl had just
finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her
mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big
family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of
the Bible. He picked up
the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the
pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there,
dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's
underwear!'
-------A day without laughter is a
day wasted!
