Japanese Hotel Service.

email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan ... 

Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, 


he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. 

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 
'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.' 

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 15.00 Yen, 
 
and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. 
 
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, 
which reflected the best haircut of his life. 

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,  

'Manicures, 20.00 Yen'.  

'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, 
and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out 
his hands and they were perfectly manicured. 

The next machine had a sign that read, 
'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 1 Yen.' 

The salesman looked both ways, put one Yen in the machine, 
unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. 
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony
and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.. 

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... 
.....which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.. 

Italian grocery store, London.

email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai   Nice to have some entertainment while shopping…especially if it includes a little culture.  Italian grocery store in London …and you thought the Brits only ate Bangers and Mash. -- Enjoy  http://gloria.tv/?media=460713

Seeing a ghost.

This is the story related by a male teacher to his class of youngsters to keep them amused.

'It was a rainy night and the electric power in his house had got cut off. He had called out to his wife who was working in the kitchen. She had shouted back saying 'wait a minute'. He was seated in the dark facing the door leading to the kitchen when he saw a white porcelain cup and saucer and white shining teeth advancing towards him. He thought he was seeing a ghost and cried out only to be reassured by the voice of his wife saying that it was her. His wife was wearing some dark dress material and was of a dark complexion'.

hi-tech city guy VS farmer(OLDIE!)

email from Gallege De Silva

An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.  The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"  Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.  The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ....  Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."  "That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.  He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.  As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?" The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wonderingwhat this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."  "You're a politician & you work in Canberra." says the old timer. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"  "No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog." AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ALL ABOUT.

The bird that can speak JAPANESE

The bird that can speak JAPANESE: Video reveals incredible animal that can 'chat' to people on the phone

The video shows a Common Hill Myna that is able to speak Japanese. The bird is known as Abe Chan and is owned by Satoko Ohno in Japan.

Full Story:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2609453/The-bird-speak-JAPANESE-Video-reveals-incredible-animal-chat-people-phone.html

Removing a ring from a swollen finger

email from "J. K. S. Weerasekera" 

Seems practical. I have not got a chance to try it yet. Worth propagating.

jksw

Subject: Fwd: Fw: Removing a ring from a swollen finger/ ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxoAbK5Pc6w#t=80

They DO grow on trees.

Forwarded by "J. K. S. Weerasekera"

 Oh no, its not!!! Its not what you think I tell you!!!

IT IS A VIETNAMESE PUMPKIN!!!

Oh yes it is!

Wonder what the neighbors will say
when you plant some of these along the
fence next year ?

 DID YOU HAVE A LAUGH?????????????