Thursday, January 30, 2014

Udurawana jokes

email from jksweerasekara
Udurawana was looking at an Egyptian mummy with one of his friends.
Udurawana : Look so many bandages, 

I'm sure it is a lorry accident case....

Friend : Aaho!, Lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
****************************************************************************



 
Udurawana at a bar in New York.


Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"


Udurawana says - 
"Ranjit Udurawana Married"

*******


Boss : I am giving u a job as a driver. 

STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k ??


Udurawana : U R great sir! Starting salary is ok.......buttt??
how much is the DRIVING salary...?


*******


Udurawana's theory on Sun and Moon : 

Moon is more important than Sun, 
coz it gives light at night when light is needed,
but Sun gives light during the day 

when light is not needed !!!

*******


Udurawana shouting 2 his girl friend 

" u said v will register our marriage and you cheated me, 
I was waiting 4 u yesterday the whole day in the post office
but you never came ....
*******


 

Udurawana in an interview 4 a post of detective.
Interviewer : who killed SWRD? (an ex- PM of Sri Lanka)


Udurawana : Thank u 4 giving me the job Sir, 
I will immediately start investigating.......
 
******* 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Marvel at the Universe! Can you just imagine!

email from Nihal Gooneratne








Retirement - email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai.

Have a good chuckle  . . . . especially those of you who think they will never have to retire, ever!!
 
 
----- 
 Why I Like Retirement !
Question: How many days in a week? 
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question:
 When is a retiree's bedtime? 
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? 
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.



Question:
 Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? 
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. 


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 
Answer: NUTS! 

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Ans wer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. 


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? 
Answer: Normal .
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? 
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? 
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


And, my very favorite.... 
QUESTION: What do you do all week? 
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday &Sunday, I rest.

SERENITY


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.... 

'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 
'And what do you think is the best thing 
about being 104?' the reporter asked...
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is
you can hide your own Easter eggs
and have fun finding them.


I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, 

new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. 
I'm half blind, 
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, 
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, 
so I got my doctor's permission to 
join a fitness club and start exercising. 
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. 
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I
got my leotards on, 

the class was over.
 


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. 
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging? 
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises 
as your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff 
in my shopping cart says, 
'For fast relief.'


THE SENILITY PRAYER : 
Grant me the senility to forget the people 
I never liked anyway, 
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and 
the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are! 
Always Remember This: 
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, 
You grow old because you stop laughing!
  
 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Nidahas baila

email from Susiri Weeraseara
Nanda Malani and Sunil Ariyaratne--Nidahas Baila


Did you listen to Nanda Malani. The Lyrics by Prof.Sunil Ariyaratne  phenomenally fabulous!  
Click on link below:-

Mathematical Puzzle

 email from Sunil Liyanage
22 Jan (7 days ago)
 
This works!!

Your Phone number will reveal your Age.
I do not know who discovered this? Really accurate.

It will take about 15 seconds, read and do it at the same time so that you
will not lose the fun.

[1] Take a look at your last digit of your cell phone number
[2] Use this figure and multiply by 2
[3] Then add 5
[4] And then multiply by 50
[5] And then add the number 1763
[6] The last step; with this number, subtract your birth year.
Now you see a three-digit number.
The first digit is the last digit of your phone number, the next digits is
your actual age!
Surprising?

This is a very interesting math
s problem, really accurate.
Very magical, feel free to share with everyone.
Do not believe? 
 Try it... I did & it worked !
Didn’t know I was THAT old!


Sunday, January 26, 2014

Clapping Obama Way - email from Lawrence Ratnam




Barack Obama, at a recent rural elementary school assembly in South Carolina, asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, 'Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.'

Then, little Darrell, with a proud South Carolina drawl, pierced the quiet and said,

"Well, dumb ass, stop clapping!

Singing birds - email from Dawood.

Carnatic Music Raga Notes Discernible in the Tuneful Sounds of Birds

23 January 2014, 10:42 pm
By
Hema Vijay
Special Arrangement Life's A Song: Cuckoo
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song: Cuckoo
From koels and flycatchers to magpie robins and whistling thrushes, birds seem to have their own concerts with raga and thala intact — think Mohanam, Bilahari, Kalyani and kanda chapu thaalam! Hema Vijay sets out to learn more about their melody- and rhythm-based tweets
Sudha Ragunathan
Sudha Ragunathan
The city’s annual musical extravaganza may have just winded up, but plenty of complex music still hangs in the air — thanks to the city’s diverse birds and their sweet songs.

To the untrained ear, bird calls may sound like noises in different pitches and tones. For that sound to be perceived as a melody and translated into a scale, one does need a fair amount of musical training. But could there be a definite raga in the chirps and tweets?
Nithyashree
Nithyashree
“Bird songs, too, are in different ragas. For example, koels tend to choose Shankarabaranam. The Malabar whistling thrush, a versatile singer, sings very complicated phrases, and is heard singing in Mohanam and Bilahari. The orange-headed ground thrush can be heard singing in Kalyani. Indian robins are heard singing to kanda chapu thaalam, the 5/8 time signature in Western music,” says A.J. Mithra, music teacher, zoo musicologist, and someone who has been studying bird calls for several years now. As in Indian classical music, birds use microtones in their songs. This creates a great degree of musicality in their songs, Mithra points out.
Special Arrangement Life's A Song: Indian robin
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song: Indian robin
In a sense, the perception of a raga in a birdcall could be a subjective matter too. “I never heard anything as beautiful as the whistling thrush I heard during a camping holiday in the hills. And when I hear the koel sing, I hear the basic sa-pa-sa in its song. When the cuckoo oscillates its songs, I hear a few distinct notes in it, representative of raga Suddha Dhanyasi. But bird calls could translate to different ragas to different people. That is because we identify a raga in the bird call, based upon the pitch we take from its call as its base note. For instance, a pentatonic raga like Mohanam can become Madhyamavathi or Hindolam, if I take a different base note in the song,” remarks Carnatic vocalist Sikkil Gurucharan.
Special Arrangement Life's A Song: Koel
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song: Koel
Moving further, it becomes clear that musical improvisations of a basic tune are not the prerogative of Carnatic maestros alone. “Birds such as the Oriental magpie robin and Tickell’s blue flycatcher improvise their songs all the time. Sometimes, within the same morning, they may improvise their basic song with up to 20 variations,” mentions Mithra. Another point he makes is that birds use the ambience pitch to sing their song, the way Carnatic vocalists use the tanpura to help them sing in pitch.
“When the frequency of the background sound rises, the birds raise the pitch of their songs too,” Mithra says. Meanwhile, the saptaswaras or the seven notes — Sa, Ri, Ga, Ma, Pa, Dha, Ni, in Indian Classical music, are considered by many to be inspired by the call of both birds and animals such as peacock, dove, cuckoo, frog, and elephant, while ragas such as Hamsadhvani are considered to have been inspired directly by birds.
Special Arrangement Life's A Song: Oriental Magpie Robin Photo: A.J. Mithra
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song: Oriental Magpie Robin Photo: A.J. Mithra
Complex ragas evolved over centuries, taking cues from Nature’s sounds, ranging from incoherent sounds such as that of the wind, the waves and the rain, to the precise and modulated phrases of birds. Further, birdsongs have inspired compositions in the Western operatic tradition too. Says Anil Srinivasan, Classical pianist, “For instance, French composer Louis-Claude Daquin’s ‘Le coucou’ (The Cuckoo) played in a higher octave sounds exactly like a cuckoo’s cry.
Special Arrangement Life's A Song: Skylark Photo: A.J. Mithra
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song: Skylark Photo: A.J. Mithra
Special Arrangement Life's A Song Tickell's blue flycatcher. Photo: A.J. Mithra
Special Arrangement Life’s A Song Tickell’s blue flycatcher. Photo: A.J. Mithra
‘La Gazza Ladra’ (The Thieving Magpie) by Giuseppe Verdi sounds like the magpie’s song, and Robert Schumann’s ‘Vogel als Prophet’ (The Prophet Bird) lets you hear forest birds’ calls. Then, of course, there is Mozart’s ‘The Magic Flute’ composed as a duet between a male and female parakeet. It sounds exactly like the parakeet’s songs.”
Bombay Jayashree
Bombay Jayashree
Well, the perception of ragas in bird songs might be either the cause or the effect of mankind’s musical endeavours. But either way, bird songs do remind us that an evolved sense of aesthetics and musical finesse are not exclusive to us humans alone. courtesy: The Hindu