Being politically correct - email from jksw

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -  is a 'BREASTED AUSTRALIAN.' 2. She is not 'EASY' - She  is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -  is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. She has 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' -  is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a  'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD  DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' -  He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like  a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!) 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'