Screams of passion - email from jksw

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non stop for five minutes." The Frenchman said:  "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight." The Aussie said:  That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, y'know, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours." The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours? ...Wow!  That's phenomenal. How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?" The Aussie replied,  "I wiped my hands on the curtains."

The hare and the tortoise - email from Lawrence Ratnam

 In life, when faced with failure, sometimes it is appropriate to work
harder and put in more effort. Sometimes it is appropriate to change
strategy and try something different. And sometimes it is appropriate to
do both.

Take the case of  ........

The Hare & The Tortoise

   Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about whom was
faster. They decided to settle the argument with a race. They agreed on a
route and started off the race. The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for
some time. Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought
he'd sit under a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race.
He sat under the tree and soon fell asleep. The tortoise plodding on
overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ.
The hare woke up and realized that he'd lost the race.

   The moral- "Slow and steady wins the race. This is the version of the
story that we've all grown up with."

   THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

   There are few more interesting things...

   It continues as follows...

   The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some
soul-searching. He realized that he'd lost the race only because he had
been overconfident, careless and lax. If he had not taken things for
granted, there's no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he
challenged the tortoise to another race. The tortoise agreed. This time,
the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.

   The moral - " Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady.
It's good to be slow and steady; but it's better to be fast and reliable."

   THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

   The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there's no
way it can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted. It
thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but on
a slightly different route. The hare agreed. They started off. In keeping
with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off
and ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line
was a couple of kilometres on the other side of the river. The hare sat
there wondering what to do. In the meantime the tortoise trundled along,
got into the  river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the
race.

   The moral - " First identify your core competency and then change the
playing field to suit your core competency."

   THE STORY STILL HASN'T ENDED.

   The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become pretty good friends
and they did some thinking together. Both realized that the last race
could have been run much better. So they decided to do the last race
again, but to run as a team this time. They started off, and this time the
hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took
over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the
hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line
together. They both felt a greater sense of satisfaction than they'd felt
earlier.

   The moral - "It's good to be individually brilliant and to have strong
core competencies; but unless you're able to work in a team and harness
each other's core competencies, you'll always perform below par because
there will always be situations at which you'll do poorly and someone else
does well. Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the
person with the relevant core competency for a situation takes leadership.
Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failures. The
hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure. The
tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as he
could."

The hare and the tortoise also learnt another vital lesson. When
we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the
situation, we perform far better.
 
   To sum up, the story of the hare and tortoise has much to say:

   Chief among them are that fast and consistent will always beat slow and
steady; work to your competencies; pooling resources and working as a team
will always beat individual performers; never give up when faced with
failure; & finally, compete against the situation - not against a rival.

The wedding of a lion - email jksw

A lion was getting married. At his wedding a mouse was shouting away and congratulating the lion.

"All the best, my brother. Good luck."

Seeing the mouse shouting away claiming that the lion getting married is his brother, another Lion grabs the mouse in anger and asks:

Who the hell do you think you are?

How can a lion be your brother?

You are only a mouse."

The Mouse replies:
"I, too, was a Lion before I got married."

Uses of newspapers for the older generation - email Lesley Sirimanne

Why seniors need newspapers

 

I was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. “I don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad."

I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Bollywood performance of 'Jailhouse Rock' - email jksw

Indian Jail House Rock.

     Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DavEsuKdeR4

Photos which recall days gone by - email jksw

For the most part, absolutely stunning!:

MOST UNUSUAL PIX'S OF INTERESTING HISTORY

Miss America 1924

Helen Keller Meeting Charlie Chaplin

Leather gloves worn by Lincoln to Ford's Theater on the night of his assassination. Blood stains are visible at the cuffs.

Phoebe Mozee (aka: Annie Oakley). Famed for her marksmanship by 12 years old, she once shot the ashes off of Kaiser Wihelm II's cigarette at his invitation. When she outshot famed exhibition marksman Frank Butler, he fell in love with her and they married. They remained married the rest of their lives.

Very Young Lucy Lucille Ball around 1930

This is one of five known X-rays of Hitler's head, part of his medical records compiled by American military intelligence after the German's surrendered and declassified in 1958. The records also include doctor's reports, diagrams of his teeth and nose and electrocardiograms. He had bad teeth, lots of fillings and crowns.

Two Victorian sideshow performers boxing - the fat man and the thin man.

Amy Johnson, English aviator 1903-1941 One of the first women to gain a pilot's licence, Johnson won fame when she flew solo from Britain to Australia in 1930. Her dangerous flight took 17 days. Later she flew solo to India and Japan and became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic East to West, she volunteered to fly for The Women's Auxiialry Air Force in WW2, but her plane was shot down over the River Thames and she was killed.

Prison Garb 1924. Belva Annan murderess whose trial records became the musical "Chicago."

Female photojournalist Jessie Tarbox on the street with her camera, 1900s.

Roald Amundsen was the first person to reach the South Pole. At approximately 3pm on December 14, 1911, Amundsen raised the flag of Norway at the South Pole and named the spot Polheim — “Pole Home.”

The extraordinary life of Maud Allen: Seductive US dancing girl who was sued for being too lewd, outed as a lesbian, and fled London after being branded a German spy who was sleeping with the prime minister's wife.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Caroline Otero, courtesan, the most sought after woman in all of Europe. She associated herself with the likes of Prince Albert I of Monaco, King Edward VII of the United Kingdom, Kings of Serbia, and Kings of Spain as well as Russian Grand Dukes Peter and Nicholas, the Duke of Westminster and writer Gabriele D’Annunzio. Six men reportedly committed suicide after their love affairs with Otero ended. Two men fought a duel over her. She was famed for her voluptuous breasts.

Wedding day photograph of Abraham and Mary taken November 4, 1842 in Springfield, Illinois after three years of a stormy courtship and a broken engagement. Their love had endured.

Billie Holiday at two years old, in 1917

Washington, D.C., circa 1919. "Walter Reed Hospital flu ward." One of the very few images in Washington-area photo archives documenting the influenza contagion of 1918-1919, which killed over 500,000 Americans and tens of millions around the globe. Most victims succumbed to bacterial pneumonia following influenza virus infection.

Filming the MGM Logo

Amelia Earhart

Mae Questel ca. 1930’s, the voice of Betty Boop and Olive Oyl, Minnie Mouse, Felix the Cat (for three shorts by the Van Beuren Studios), Little Lulu, Little Audrey and Casper, the Friendly Ghost

Bea Arthur (née Bernice Frankel) (1922-2009) SSgt. USMC 1943-45 WW II. Enlisted and assigned as typist at Marine HQ in Wash DC, then air stations in VA and NC. Best remembered for her title role in the TV series “Maude” and as Dorothy in "Golden Girls".

In 1911, Bobby Leach survived a plunge over Niagara Falls in a steel barrel. Fourteen years later, in New Zealand, he slipped on an orange peel and died.

Emily Todd was Mary Todd Lincoln's half-sister. In 1856 she married Benjamin Helm, a Confederate general. After Helm's death in 1863 Emily Helm passed through Union Lines to visit her sister in the White House. This caused great consternation in the Northern newspapers. Emily Helm took an oath of loyalty to the Union and was granted amnesty

Three days before his 19th birthday, George H.W. Bush became the youngest aviator in the US Navy.

Market Street, San Francisco after the earthquake, 1906.

All-American Girls Baseball, 1940s

c. 1943 : Breast Protectors for War Workers

Mary Ellen Wilson (1864–1956) or sometimes Mary Ellen McCormack was an American whose case of child abuse led to the creation of the New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. As an eight-year old, she was severely abused by her foster parents, Francis and Mary Connolly.

Sacajawea. Stolen, held captive, sold, eventually reunited the Shoshone Indians. She was an interpreter and guide for Lewis and Clark in 1805-1806 with her husband Toussaint Charbonneau. She navigated carrying her son, Jean Baptiste, on her back. She traveled thousands of miles from the Dakotas the Pacific Ocean. The explorers, said she was cheerful, never complained, and proved to be invaluable. She served as an advisor, caretaker, and is legendary for her perseverance and resourcefulness.

Zelda Boden, circus performer, ca. 1910.

A Confederate and Union soldier shake hands during a celebration at Gettysburg in 1913. Image from the Library of Congress. July 1-3, 2013 marks the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg.

Geraldine Doyle, who was the inspiration behind the famous Rosie the Riveter poster.

Vintage Baked Potato Cart. A legitimate fast food lunch option back in the day.

Black physicians treating in the ER a member of the Ku Kux Klan

Cyclists ride in the first running of the Tour de France, in 1903.

Sergeant Stubby (1916 or 1917 – April 4, 1926), was the most decorated war dog of World War I and the only dog to be promoted to sergeant through combat. America's first war dog, Stubby, served 18 months 'over there' and participated in seventeen battles on the Western Front. He saved his regiment from surprise mustard gas attacks, found and comforted the wounded, and even once caught a German spy by the seat of his pants (holding him there til American Soldiers found him).

Nightwitches - Female Russian bombers who bombed Germany during WW2. They had old, noisy planes & the engines used to conk out halfway through their missions, so they had to climb out on the wings mid-flight to restart the props. To stop Germans from hearing them & starting up the anti aircraft guns, they’d climb to a certain height, coast down to German positions, drop their bombs, restart their engines in midair & get the hell out of dodge. Their leader flew 200+ missions & was never captured.

Marilyn Monroe meets Queen Elizabeth II, London, 1956 Both women are 30 years old.

Chief Petty Officer Graham Jackson plays “Going Home” as FDR’s body is borne past in Warm Springs, GA, where the President was scheduled to attend a barbecue on the day he died. April, 1945.

 

Friends in old age - email jksw

� � � �Here is old age at its best: Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so. 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. “What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?” 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty’. ' Judge gave me 30 days for perjury’ “ Judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'