email from Gallege De Silva
29 May
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The following questions were set in last year's GED examinationThese are genuine answers (from 16-year-olds).
These people will be voting in a few years!!Q. Name the four seasonsA. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegarQ. How is dew formedA. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspireQ. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist onA. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowedQ. In a democratic society, how important are electionsA. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an electionQ. What are steroidsA. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)Q. What happens to your body as you ageA. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinentalQ. What happens to a boy when he reaches pubertyA. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettesA. Premature deathQ. What is artificial inseminationA. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cowQ. How can you delay milk turning sourA. Keep it in the cow(Simple, but brilliant)nd: white;" class="yiv0027857196ecxMsoNormal"> (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized
(e.g. The abdomen)A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium,
the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium
contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and
lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,UQ. What is the fibula?A. A small lieQ. What does 'varicose' mean?A. NearbyQ. What is the most common form of birth controlA. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium(That would work)Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'A. The caesarean section is a district in RomeQ. What is a seizure?A. A Roman Emperor.(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)Q. What is a terminal illnessA. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable)Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight(brilliant)Q. What is a turbine?A. Something an Arab or Shriek wears on his head.
Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper
and wraps it around his head.(now we are getting somewhere)