This
not funny-with all the 'cuts' here there and everywhere, imagine the
savings on pensions, old people's homes, hospital care and after all ,
at this stage, the ending may be exciting!
Drafting Guys Over 60
I
am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're
at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds
think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple
of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per
day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired
and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us
kill some
asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut
us up for a while..
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am.
Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well
be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys..
We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using
them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been
in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over
the side, nor did I
ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An
18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put
them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
