WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS - email jksw

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language  became boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows 
or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies 
or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." 
- Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and 
none of the vices I admire." 
- Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow.

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas.

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent 
a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." 
-Stephen Bishop.


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb.

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." 
-Samuel Johnson.

"He is simply a shiver looking for a
spine to run up." - Paul Keating.

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, 
she always yielded easily." 
- Charles, Count Talleyrand.

"He loves nature in spite of what it did 
to him." - Forrest Tucker.

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" 
- Mark Twain.

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.." - Mae West.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." 
- Oscar Wilde.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man 
uses lamp-posts... for support rather 
than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912).


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." 
- Billy Wilder.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho