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"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love
for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna
fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held
every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the
very end.
... When fish are in
schools, they sometimes take debate.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
... Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut
off? He's
all right now.
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully
recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd
dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of
the twisted crop:
... Those who get too big for their pants will
be totally exposed in the end.
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