Bob Hope - email from Piyusha Atapaththu

 BOB HOPE 

For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents.
And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL.
I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
Tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
ON TURNING 70
'I still chase women, but only downhill'.
ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'
ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'
ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel
anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.'
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.'
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'. 
ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the
green fees.'
ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 
Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham. 
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.'
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.'
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the
stuff the audience threw at me.'
ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'
Give me a sense of humor; 
Lord, give me the grace to see a joke, 
to get some humor out of life, 
and to the person receiving this
the grace to pass it on to others.

Comment by Susiri Weerasekara:-

Forwarding Bob Hope jokes.

Few have I admired so much.

Actor famous for the ‘On the Road to…. ‘ series of comedy films in the 1940s-50s with Bing Crosby as the foil for his cracks, he was previously Bob Hope Cowboy of Dell Comics and films in the 1940/50s.

He was then a singing cowboy with guitar slung across but quit that to be full time comedian.

Gene Autry his rival became  the better known singing Cowboy, and when Bob was asked why he quit the singing cowboy role gave  this one liner ‘  He was two guitar lessons ahead of me.”.

Bob’s dead pan one liners jokes were staccato delivered every 30 seconds going on for  45 minutes and possibly only Groucho Marx of earlier vintage is comparable.

Long time later, Robin Wiliams ( 1970s) came on similar on comedy but his intense delivery style was too frenetic to keep up I suppose.

jksw