Lawrence Ratnam's SATNAV

LawrenceRatnam@aol.com	14:59 (3 hours ago)
to lawrence.ratnam, me

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear

And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things
And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then
I could turn the friggin’ thing off.