Saturday, July 19, 2014

The Three Blondes.


 email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai


Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the  Texas Highway Patrol.  The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,  "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded.  The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.  Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said,   "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."  So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now,"he said,"did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said,  "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said,  "Of course he has only one eye in this picture!  It's a profile of his face!  You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,

"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,"Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!  You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,  "This is probably a waste of time, but..."
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying,  "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said,"I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
  
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.  He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said,  "You're absolutely right!His bio says he wears contacts!  How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said,

"Well,  Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

 


READ AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH.

email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai.


Short Facts:

Wife : "why r u home so early?"

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!" 

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Doctor : Howz ur headache ?

Patient : she's out of town.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Marriage is like a public toilet . Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a better model in neighborhood

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again.

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It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.

The slide show begins.

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils, but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆! .
Q-You know why women love shoes?

A- Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit..

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Q- Why can't Women Drive well?

A- Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Q- Why can't Women stand a day in a Jungle?


A- There are no Shopping Centers..

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Q- How to save a Dying Woman?

A- Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Q- If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?

A- Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
The woman who invented the phrase "All men
are the same" was a Chinese woman who lost
her husband in a crowd.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened=))


◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Wives are magicians. ..... . . . . . . . . . .
They can change anything into an argument

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆
Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied: Women don't have a wife!

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Send this to all men for a good laugh and to women who can handle it


Friday, July 18, 2014

Persevere!

God's will - What you sow you reap

A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a twenty-dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now.

As he finished his
 mea l, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE!

So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and smiled.

The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for.


The man replied, “This is your half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one.”

Old Ladies with Spray Glue.

email from Nihal Goonaratne





OK… you better be watching this in a place where you can laugh out loud!!



Puvan Nagalingam.

Hello 1960 batch - ranjini and Geri. I was in Sri Lanka in 2010. Pity I could not meet any of you. Did not know this organization existed. My former name was Puvan Nagalingam - the one who met with the cycle accident. I live in London now.

Inbox
x

Tammy Alingham tammy.alingham@sky.com

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Ceylon Police and Baila.



Olinton Mervyn Bastiansz aka Wally Bastiansz is the god father of Sinhala Baila, who brought Kaffrigna to the fore. Baptised as "'Ogustus Martheneus Bastiansz'", named after his grand father Wilhelmus Martheneus, his close family and friends called him 'Olie' or 'Olinton'. Once he embarked on his musical career whilst serving in the Traffic Division of the Ceylon Police, he presented himself with the stage name 'Wally Bastiansz'.

As a serving police officer, Wally played in the police band during the 1940s. It is said that he had been granted special permission to attend musical events by then prime minister Sir John Kotelawala. He was instrumental in providing road traffic presentations conducted by the traffic police at all major cities across the country.

Wally also played Banjo, Violin and the Spanish Guitar. His music style was later followed by many other successful Baila singers such as Anton Jones, M. S. Fernando, Desmond De Silva, Saman De Silva. 

His other popular songs include, Mathakai Amme, Nurse Nona, Hai Hooi Babi Archchi,Le Kiri Karala and Ratak Watinawa. It is a hidden fact that Nurse Nona was about his own sister Felicia Florence Jayasekera (née Bastianz, died 1996) who was a nurse in the 1940s.

Wally bade last farewell to his fans and the music world by leaving a lasting legacy on Chorus Baila, on the 16th January 1985.

The song is about his favourite instrument Viola. In the song Wally describes how little babies are consoled in their cradles to the sweet sound of the viola. He further goes on to say that he has no use of the sound of the flute at his death bed, except for the sweet sound of the Viola, and invites Viola to meet in heaven.
Wally's songs are about simple things in everyday life. Irene Josephine is a testimony to that.

Irene Josephine is a timeless classic by Wally that is echoed in all music circuits today in Sri Lanka even after 50+ years. Music was directed by Aelian Soysa and the violin solo introduction by M.K. Rocksamy.

Source: Google & Wikipedia

Brings back good old memories of the 60s when we were teenagers. You can listen to old favourites on Youtube.


Here is a collection of baila from Youtube










British greeting cards.

Getting old has never been so funny! Gloriously mischievous and oh-so-British: The best of the unique humour of Cath Tate, creator of our funniest greetings cards
Wonderfully witty and mischievous, these are just some of the thousands of greeting cards created by British artist Cath Tate in a 30-year career.
Read the full story:
17 July 2014