David, the 'lateral thinker' - email from Kamalini Kanapathippillai

An exam answer paper from Canada. He desrved the A mark.

English in foreign lands - email by jksw.

Wonderful English from Around the World In a Bangkok Temple : IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN. Cocktail lounge , Norway : LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Doctor's office, Rome : SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok : DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi : TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. In a sign at Phuket OPENED SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, EXCEPT TUESDAYS. In a Cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES . Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. In a Tokyo Bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Hotel , Yugoslavia : THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel , Japan : YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. (tell that to the ex-IMF Managing Director!) In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY. A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest : IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACKFOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Hotel, Zurich : BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand : WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? Airline ticket office, Copenhagen : WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!!!)

                                                                                                                       

 At a Punjabi restaurant:

IF YOU DID NOT LIKE THE FOOD THEN COMPLAIN BEFORE EATING. A Laundry in Rome : LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. And finally the all-time classic: Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:                                                                                  IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE

THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST email Lawrence Ratnam

I was a very happy man.My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.                            

She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

Bathtub Test

Bathtub Test Inbox x Sunil Liyanage 21:20 (9 hours ago) to Sunil During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Care Home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said.  ..................... ...................... ................... "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? :)

The Queen's riddle - email jksw

The Queen's Riddle Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send David Cameron the Prime Minister in here, would you?" David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, please, David. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," said the Queen. Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one!" He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but no one could give him an answer. Finally, Biden ran into Sarah Palin in a restaurant one night. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child, and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Sarah Palin answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!" Biden smiled, and said, Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!" Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's David Cameron !"

Note by Philip G V 

The above riddle has a parallel and was enacted in Sri Lanka more than 2000 years ago. It relates to The Venerable Mahinda Thera quizzing the King Devanampiya Tissa on how many mango trees were there at the mango grove at Mihinthale. When Mahinda answered the question correctly he was deemed fit to receive instructions on the philosophy of Buddhism. This I presume was the first recorded IQ test in history. This incident is recorded in the Mahawansa - a Pali chronicle - written around 500 AD.

Cricketers of the University of Ceylon, 1962/63

From: Michael Roberts [mailto:galleonroberts@gmail.com]

Subject: Talent Abundant. The All-Conquering University of Ceylon Cricket Team of 1962/63

http://cricketique.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/talent-abundant-the-all-conquering-university-of-ceylon-cricket-team-of-196263/

Talent Abundant. The All-Conquering University of Ceylon Cricket Team of 1962/63

March 18, 2013

Anonymous Author, in The Island, 16 March 2013

The Ceylon University pool players included seven doctors.

Former members of the University of Ceylon ‘62/63 will gather at the NCC on the morning of March 23 to celebrate their winning the Sara Trophy 50 years ago. Their feat has never been achieved by any other university team. In spite of the heavy burden of studies, they had to contend with, they were able to excel in their chosen sport to win the Sara Trophyin the 1962/63 season. The team consisted of a very talented group of youngsters who were not at all overawed by the might of the opposition, sporting All Ceylon players of that era. They, in their youthful exuberance, overcame all odds in capturing the title. Their conduct off the field was exemplary. They were gentlemen to the core in their behaviour.

Many of them were also accomplished musicians. All these cricketers, without exception have reached the pinnacle of their chosen careers as doctors, engineers, architects, civil servants and veterinarians, both locally and abroad.

The year 1962 saw the coming together of a number of very talented students from various schools in Ceylon of that era to be members of a fantastic cricket team to represent the University of Ceylon in cricket in the local premier tournament, vying for the Saravanamuthu Trophy. These young students of that era, mainly from the Colombo schools, entered university, after passing the very competitive university entrance exam of the era.

The team was skippered by Carlyle Perera, a Josephian, a no nonsense leader and a fourth year medico at that time. He was a hugely talented batsman with an astute cricketing brain and the incredible skills of man management to extract the best efforts from his team members. His deputy was a Thomian – Buddy Reid, another fourth year medico, who was a great cricketer with a never say die attitude and possessing true Thomian grit.

The other members were:

Mano Ponniah –Thomian – Opening bat and superb fielder in the covers. Engineerin student.

NJS de Mel – Royalist – Diminutive and dashing opening bat with no respect for reputations of the opponents.

Nihal Gurusinghe – Thomian – Tall and elegant and attractive batsman to watch when set. Smart in the slips. Medico.

Lareef Idroos – Thomian – A great all-rounder. Leading leg spinner of the era, sound batsman and an excellent slip fielder. – Medico.

Cyril Ernest – Benedictine – Another great all-rounder – Lethal off spinner, dashing bat and a brilliant close in fielder. – Medico.

Mohanlal Fernando – Anandian – All-rounder – Opening bowler with excellent control of swing; middle order batsman and fantastic fielder in close, in and in the deep.

V. Sivanandan – The only outstation schoolboy cricketer in the team – from St. John’s, Jaffna. A fabulous wicket keeper and lower order batsman – Veterinarian.

Harsha Samarajiva – Royalist – Opening bowler, with a vicious well concealed bouncer who intimidated many an opposing batsman. Lower order bat. Close in fielder. Medico.

URP Goonetilleke – Thomian – A solid opening bat; fielded in the covers and also bowled medium pace cutters when needed. Medico.

K. Wimalaratne – Royalist – A stubborn batsman and a medium pace bowler. Fielded in the outfield.

Nanda Senanayake – Royalist – Superb allrounder – middle order bat, off spinner and a great fielder in the covers. Physical Science student.

Kingsley Fernando – St. Sebastian’s College, Moratuwa. A dashing bat, leg spinner and excellent fielder close in fielder. Engineering.

Merril Guneratne – St. Peter’s College – Left arm medium pace swing bowler with excellent control of line and length. Fielded in the mid-on and mid-off positions. Underrated batsman who sold his wicket very early. The only student from the Arts Faculty.

Adiel Anghie – Peterite – Reserve wicket keeper. Solid Middle order bat. Medico.

Unselfishness and team camaraderie were the foremost attributes instilled into the minds by their leader, Carlyle Perera. This did pay dividends. It must also be mentioned that in the following season, the university were runners-up to Bloomfield and lost by the barest of margins of 0.04 points due to one missed catch. Well, that’s cricket.

The team has since lost some of their members, and the surviving members of the champion team are back in Sri Lanka to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of winning the championship and they will be celebrating at a couple of events in a resort hotel down South, and at the NCC, at a reception for the team.

It has to be noted that six members of that great team subsequently played in representative Ceylon sides – Buddy Reid (also played for Ceylon in Table Tennis), Mano Ponniah (also played for Cambridge, England.), Nihal Gurusinghe, Lareef Idroos (also played for USA), Cyril Ernest (also played for the USA and in the World Cup -Birmingham, England) and V. Sivanandan.

Where are they now?

Carlyle Perera – Melbourne, Australia. Consultant Psychiatrist.

Buddy Reid – Melbourne, Australia. Consultant Surgeon.

Nihal Gurusinghe – Tepuke, New Zealand. Consultant Internist.

Mano Ponniah – Back home in Colombo. Renowned Architect.

Lareef Idroos – Los Angeles, USA. Consultant Nephrologist. Retired professor UCLA.

Cyril Ernest -Lancaster, California. USA. Consultant Cardiologist.

Harsha Samarajiva – Back home in Colombo. Much sought after Internist.

Mohanlal Fernando – Wales. Retired Rheumatologist and specialist in Sports Medicine.

V. Sivanandan – Resides in Malaysia. Emeritus Professor in Veterinary Sciences, University of Minnesota.

Kingsley Fernando – Colombo. Retired Chief Engineer, Colombo.

Nanda Senanayake – Colombo.

Adiel Anghie – Virginia, USA. Retired Consultant Pulmonologist.

Merril Guneratne – Colombo. Retired DIG.

Unfortunately, NJS de Mel, K. Wimalaratne and URP Goonetilleke are not with us anymore. NJS was an executive at Ceylon Tobacco. He died in Sri Lanka. K. Wimalaratne, a consultant Cardiologist tragically drowned in California, while URP Goonetilleke, a Consultant Pathologist died in England.

Mohanlal Fernando represented Wales at tennis. Buddy Reid represented Australia in the Masters Table Tennis International tourney and Cyril Ernest achieved the distinction of gaining his Black Belt in Tae Kwondo [an also played for USA in Cricket at the Fworld cup in UK]..

All of them were university students first, though they were in the limelight due to their sporting abilities and that studies did supersede sports. For those representing the country today in various sports, the members of the ‘62-63 team are an example. It would be pertinent to mention that they were able to combine the two. Some of them represented the university in cricket, but other sports as well.

Buddy Reid – Cricket and Table Tennis

Cyril Ernest – Cricket and Hockey

Mohanlal Fernando – Cricket and Badminton

V. Sivanandan – Cricket and Soccer.

URP Goonetilleke – Cricket and Hockey

K. Wimalaratne – Cricket and Hockey.

Nanda Senanayake – Cricket, Hockey an

Spanish Indian Dance - email jksw

SENORITA -Indian-Spanish fusion  Dance

 

ENJOY!!!

Select 1080p, full volume andscreen please SENORITA