Repeated for another round of laughs.
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco buying a
large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet
and was in the checkout queue when a woman
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned
me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to
Better watch what you ask retired people
They have all the time in the world to
think of daft things to say.
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17:36 (22 hours ago)
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large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet
and was in the checkout queue when a woman
behind me asked if I had a dog..
What did she think I had, an elephant? So,
since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse
I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
What did she think I had, an elephant? So,
since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse
I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Chum Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2
stone before I woke up in intensive care
I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2
stone before I woke up in intensive care
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your
pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your
pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The
food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again.
food is nutritionally complete so it works
well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone
in thequeue was now enthralled with my story.)
in thequeue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog food poisoned
me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to
sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to
have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard. I'm now banned from Tesco.
I thought the guy behind her was going to
have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard. I'm now banned from Tesco.
Better watch what you ask retired people
They have all the time in the world to
think of daft things to say.
